From: "Dave Coull" <d.y.coull-AT-dundee.ac.uk>
Date: Thu, 8 Apr 1999 12:59:00 GMT
Subject: Viruses



Keri asked me to forward this
to the list. If it gives you a laugh, 
thank me. If it doesn't, blame her.

LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES!!!!!

Lewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your
computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

Ronald Regan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets
where it is stored.

Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after two bytes.

Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300 MB hard drive
suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands 
to 200 MB.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus: Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres Virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic Virus (A Strain Of The Lewinsky Virus):
Your whole computer goes down.

Disney Virus:  Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac Virus:  Screws up your RAM but 
your processor doesn't care.

Joey Buttafuoco Virus:  Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates zome
viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.

Lorena Bobbit Virus: Reformats your hard drive
into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.

Viagra Virus:  Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

Clinton Virus:  Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.