Date: Sun, 25 Apr 1999 23:47:57 -0700
Subject: Re: Name That Pissant




> What's the history of this bloke?
> 
> Is there more than one in his gang?
> 
> Curious of West London.

Dear Curious of West London,

One year and about 11 months ago, I swallowed my pride and signed up on this
here forum. I was quite relieved and happy to note that the crowd was fairly
accepting of yours truly.

As a result of my first introduction (which I followed with an inane discussion
of anticopyright - inane because I had nothing good to add to the discussion), I
got a couple hellos back. One private email I got (and I don't think I'm
stepping one the writer's toes here by divulging a pertinent snippet of his
mail) was from a bloke named Ben hailing from Canada. I forget which part of
Canada; it's all the same to me.

Anyhoo, Ben was quite cordial in the mail. However, he did write one puzzling
statement. He said (I'm a-paraphrasing here) something aboot keeping my eyes out
for a character on the list named Bill White. He didn't go into any details,
only that brief, tantalizing tidbit.

Well, this piqued my curiosity a bit. (This was, of course, before I realized
that anarchist culture in general was populated with some really fuckin' insane
people... this writer included.) Fate, though, stuck a bitter blow. Mr. White
was in hiatus. I awaited a posting from him with bated breath. The days passed
by with relatively pacified discussions (okay, I'm lying), and this mystery
person continued to be an enigma.

And he remained that way, until I opened my mailbox the following August. You
might be surprised that I remember the month. If you had ever read what Bill
White posted that day, you'd remember the fuckin' month too.

White (aka Kaiser Bill, aka The Truth(tm), aka the Utopian Anarchist Party, aka
the guy with the beret, aka "hey, check out my Lenin goatee", aka Stirner on
Smack (and, speaking of smack... no, wait, that's another story...)) sent,
without warning, the next year's agenda for the Utopian Anarchist Party.

I had never read anything funnier in the months that I was on the list.

Until the next time he posted.

And the next post he wrote. E. T. C.

He was the anarchy-list problem child. Unlike the Randians we get from time to
time, White stayed. And stayed.

He sent out emails and html docs saying that our Chuck0 was a police informant.
(Also, that he liked Cheesy Poofs, despite the fact that there's no such thing
as Cheesy Poofs, nor, as he spelled it, "Chessy Poofs". This is a good
indication of his hold on reality.)

Later on, he turned in me and Carp to the FBI, alleging that we had something do
to with a denial of service attack on his website. Haha. Carp's too busy
drinking to fool around with him, and I consider myself lucky if I can get my
'puter to turn on, especially when I'm drinkin' (i.e., now).

A few of us almost had him run out of town back in March of '98. This was a
defining moment in list history, and you should know about it. Check out the
list archives - you'd be proud of us kids.

And also check out the archives for Kaiser Bill's innumerable postings. As much
as we all hated him (and we all hated him, and how), I dare say you're missing
something if you haven't read one of his posts.

The last time a school shooting happened, I wrote a parody of one of his press
releases. This time, I gots something better stirring up in my gray matter. The
list will know, and it will know this week.

Abigail van Buren
jlhouk-AT-mindspring.com