Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2000 10:32:13 +1000
From: "Jeremy Dixon" <jeremydixon-AT-eudoramail.com>
Subject: Re:  Re: Anarchist Parents



/

   danceswithcarp wrote:

>
>Asking for permission to leave the table is a mere showing of respect
>towards those others who are seated there who have chosen to dine with
>you.

Yeah? So, as its just "manners", in your house the adults ask the children for permission to leave the table? What if some reckon yes and some reckon no? You take a vote? Secret Ballot?

Hum. 

There is, I agree, nothing wrong with custom and courtesy. As a rule children quickly pick up, by example, the customs of the mini-society they are born into. Coercing children, unnecessarily, to outwardly submit to an adults idea of courtesy is a different matter. 

As to the table thing, waiting for others to finish a common meal is usually the courteous thing to do, I agree. If adults adhere to this practice children will pick it up. 

But you would not normally expect adults to beg permission to leave the table, who from?, and nor should you expect it of children.

In general "manners" is the enemy of courtesy. People who have "manners" enforced on them have great difficulty developing natural courtesy.

Similarly; "morals" is the enemy of ethics.   

-Jeremy


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