Subject: Half Man HB refs. An anorak guide.
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 12:38:52 +0100



Dickie Davis' Eyes".

DD was the main presenter for ITV [Commercial TV] Sports  in the 70s and
early 80s. At this  time ITV only showed crap sports like wrestling.

Fred Titmus

England cricketer and off-spin bowler, who lost some toes in a boating
accident in the West Indies

Nerys Hughes

Doyenne of 60s/70s sit-com The Liver Birds about two young women sharing a
flat in Liverpool. First substantial sit com by Carla Lane who was quite
funny at that time. Later Carla Lane met Linda McCartney and became an
animal rights activist, whereupon her sit-coms stopped being funny. Nerys
Hughes was a rather attractive, buxom young woman. She now plays parts like
"District Nurse". She must also live quite near me, because we spent a
boring 20 minutes gridlocked together in our cars on the South Circular a
year or two ago. She's still a rather attractive  curvy over 50 woman,
though not with a cute nose like the mum in Tool Time.

Dukla Prague away kit?

Dukla Prague - Footie team who probably played Liverpool in the 80s at a
time when fans first started buying replica kits of their heroes.

Trumpton Riots

Trumpton was a Children's TV programme - an animated "puppet" village in the
manner of wallace and grommitt.

D'Ye Ken Ted Moult?

Ted Moult was a farmer who unaccountably rose to TV and Radio stardom in the
50s and 60s. he was a regular on Radio's Any Questions where he would
provide a commonsense view on the issues of the day. In the 80s he was
famous for doing an Everest Double Glazing Window ad. where he held a
feather up to the window and it fluttered down showing no draughts. He later
shot himself dead. Not sure  why? Also on Any Questions  was a woman called
Lady Isabel Barnett who pontificated about values, standards and law and
order. Unnfortunately [tee hee] in old age she turned into a kleptomaniac
and was nicked by a store detective who didn't realise he was supposed abide
by the Toff's legal system and discreetly contact her friends and family to
return the goods. Anyway she was publicly humiliated. Shame about Ted Moult
though.

Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10)

After Ian Dury and the Blockheads but you'd know that.

Rod Hull Is Alive - Why?

Rod Hull is however now dead. he fell off his roof while fixing a TV aerial.
Rod Hull's rise to stardom was as mysterious as Ted Moult's. His act
consisted of sticking his hand up the arse of a large puppet emu. He didn't
however attempt ventriloquism or anything. The emu just used to attack
people, notably Michael Parkinson who was wrestled o the floor on his chat
show by the emu. People here often lament the decline of the End of the Pier
Variety Show. I don't because, apart from the dancing girls, these shows
were full of people like Rod Hull.

C.A.M.R.A. Man

CAMRA is  the Campaign For Real Ale - large bearded men and women drinking
delicious hand pumped warm beer

Paintball's Coming Home

Paintballing you'll know -- execs shooting each other. Title is like
"Football's Coming Home" our song for theEuro Footie  Championship of '96
[we lost to the Germans] written by fellow Liverpudlian Ian Broudie of the
Lightning Seeds.

Keeping Two Chevrons Apart

For some inexplicable reason, the motorways outside Liverpool, have Chevrons
marked in the lanes thus:
>                      >                        >                         >
and we are exhorted to keep 2 apart from the car in front. In fact they
havee a hypnotic effect as you stare at them not the car in front and you
crash anyway.

Mathematically Safe

Haven't heard this one, but Mathematically Safe is when your football team
can't be relegated to a lower division, unless another team wins 43-0 or
something. [See also betting scandals].

Andy