Date: Thu, 19 Apr 2001 10:26:03 -0400
From: Chuck0 <chuck-AT-tao.ca>
Subject: ANARCHISTS INVADE QUEBEC CITY!



-------- Original Message --------
Subject: (en) ANARCHISTS INVADE QUEBEC CITY!
Date: Thu, 19 Apr 2001 03:01:39 -0400 (EDT)
From: nawrocki-AT-istar.ca (norman nawrocki)
Reply-To: a-infos-d-AT-ainfos.ca
To: a-infos-en-AT-ainfos.ca

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      A - I N F O S  N E W S  S E R V I C E
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'FIRST WE TOOK QUEBEC CITY, THEN DRUMMONDVILLE'
THE TRUE STORY BEHIND THE ANARCHIST INVASION OF QUEBEC CITY

    It's taken us years of hard work, but finally, We, the Anarchists of
the World, members of the 10 million strong GLORIOUS, INTERNATIONAL
BLACK
WEDGE, will see, ANARCHY IN QUEBEC CITY, thanks in no small part to the
cooperation of the State, the CSIS, the RCMP and of course, the
dedicated
journalists at The Montreal Gazette and The Globe and Mail. who
unknowingly
helped us succeed in our ingenious, 5 stage SECRET MASTER PLAN FOR TOTAL
WORLD SOCIAL REVOLUTION!

THE FACTS:

1 * It's official. We convinced the authorities a long time ago, to hold
the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City - the city of 500,000 closet
anarchists and to call this Summit: the FTAA - which really means
'FANTASTIC TIMES FOR ANARCHIST ACTIVISTS.'

2 * We arranged for a minor earthquake in Seattle, power black outs in
California, and a few natural disasters, around the world, to indicate
that
we are not fooling around. We are serious. We can cause major
disruptions
and bad cable TV reception.

3 * We infiltrated global Secret Police Forces to put the fear of
ANARCHY
in them, to convince them that the threat of Anarchism is very real.
Quote:
"The RCMP are certainly worried. The presence of anarchists in Québec
is
one of the top reasons for the 6,000 police officers, the arsenal of
plastic bullets and the 3.8 metre-high security fence, nicknamed The
Wall."
(The Montreal Gazette, Friday April 13th, 2001)
  Since this report, we have learned that an additional 1,200 Canadian
soldiers and innumerable American military personnel will also be
present
to counter our presence. We arranged that, too.

4 * We recruited the Quebec premier, BERNARD LANDRY as one of our top
secret agents and turned his party, the annoying BLOC QUEBECOIS into a
front for THE ANARCHIST BLAC BLOC.

5 * We convinced them to build the formidable Wall of Shame. This wall
will
now help us contain, secure,  imprison as you will, all the despised
members of this hemisphere's ruling class to help us execute our plan:
to turn Québec City into a truly INDEPENDENT, ANARCHIST COMMUNIST
PARADISE
- the first in the world - a place with no more bosses, no more borders,
no
more rulers; a self-managed, totally LIBERATED ZONE, where we will
SOCIALIZE everything, feed and house everyone and use it as a staging
ground to help us further our dream:  GLOBAL SOCIAL REVOLUTION!

HOW WILL WE DO THIS:

It's simple. While most of our people - local, Québec City resident
ANARCHIST BLACK BLOC card carrying members are securing the enormous,
FREE
ZONE outside the official walled off SECURITY PERIMETER, the rest of us
will focus our forces to immobilize and apprehend the trapped members of
the despised Ruling Class and their thousands of lackeys and armed body
guards.
   We know the Authorities are terrified and are trying to play down the
extent of our operation and our invasion force.
   Contrary to a recent Globe and Mail report that:
'Some members of the anti-capitalist convergence, the CLAC, may be
bringing
explosives to Quebec City'    the truth is:

1. Approximately 3 million members of CLAC have already arrived outside
Québec City, each heavily armed with stink bombs, exploding Cuban
cigars &
Barbara Streisand albums. They are camped out in camouflaged RVs in the
suburbs;

2.  Among them, 30,000  JAPANESE NINJA ANARCHIST WARRIORS are preparing
to
breach the security fence at dawn. They will clear landing pads for
several
hundred ANARCHIST BLACK CROSS HELICOPTERS carrying 14,000 BELGIAN
ANARCHIST
pie throwing specialists. Look out Mr Prime Minister!

3. This manoeuvre will provide cover for the BRAZILIAN ANARCHIST AIR
FORCE
CROP DUSTING JETS, primed to drop 5 tons of ECSTACY - disguised as snow
-
over the target area;

4. While the ECSTACY falls, 10 thousand three-headed ANARCHIST ALIENS
FROM
MARS -  disguised as visiting space donut entrepreneurs -  will sneak
past
security checkpoints and proceed to vaporize all SUMMIT MEETING PLACES,
including all local MacDonald's, Burger King and Harvey's outlets;


5. At this exact moment, 25,000 SCREAMING AMERICAN ANARCHIST
KINDERGARTEN
KIDS will spontaneously pop out of Québec City manholes armed with
VICIOUS
PICKACHOO WARRIORS & swarm any undrugged,  SUMMIT SECURITY FORCES & drag
them back into the sewers;

6. Already,  the entire OFFICIAL SUMMIT TRANSLATION CORPS has been
infiltrated by ITALIAN ANARCHIST SURREALIST TRANSLATORS preparing to
INSULT
every SUMMIT DELEGATE;

7. If any delegates survive this, they won't survive the food, since the
OFFICIAL CATERING STAFF has been infiltrated by ANARCHIST FOOD NOT BOMBS
CHEFS who plan to lace every dish with laxatives & sprinkle itching
powder
on ALL THE TOILET PAPER;

8. All the moaning and groaning members of the despised Ruling Class
will
then be hog tied together with a huge ANARCHIST BLACK BUNGEE CORD and
suspended & bounced from the peak of the Chateau Frontenac and forced to
listen to the songs of long time, bona-fide, anarchist cheerleader mom,
Celine Dion;

9. At some point, a giant INFLATED TROJAN CONDOM, will appear over the
City
and parachute a 300,000 strong, trained ANTI-TERRORIST ANARCHIST PEACE
KEEPING FORCE to secure the ground and prevent any dangerous & violent
BLUE
BLOCK CIA, FBI AND RCMP agents from interfering with the FESTIVE,
ANARCHIST
CARNIVAL AGAINST CAPITALISM.

10. Further support will be provided by the RUSSIAN ANARCHIST BLACK
SUBMARINE FLEET patrolling the St Lawrence River with ANARCHIST GOOD
HUMOUR
LAUGHING GAS MISSILES.

11. If the ANARCHISTS  encounter any remaining resistance, ANARCHIST
STARFLEET COMMAND will be positioned over Quebec with a giant ANTI
VIAGRA
STUN RAY.

   A Hollywood version of 'The Anarchist Take Over of Québec City'
starring
Ben Afflek and Julia Roberts as two, love-struck members of the Black
Bloc,
is already being filmed on the spot. The story will also appear as a new
Harry Potter novel. Anarcho Christians have promised to re-write it into
their newest version of the Bible. And finally, a long awaited video
game
of the impending, epic, Anarchist victory will be out shortly. *

- Norman Nawrocki,
official anarchist story teller,
Montréal, April 18, 2001


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