Date: Thu, 9 Aug 2001 15:23:40 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jamal Hannah <jah-AT-iww.org>
Subject: The Anti-Communist Sex Test (From alt.politics.communist)


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: 8 Aug 2001 15:07:22 -0700
From: antiproperty <anti_property-AT-yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics.communism
Subject: The Anti-Communist Sex Test

Spot!  Here Spot!  Out, Damned Spot!
Wanna know the "true spots" of communism?
Take the "True Spot" quiz!


Question 1:  Who are the anti-communist posters?

a)  Heaven's Gate cult members
b)  Libertarian Party recruiters
c)  CNBC reporters
d)  Pathetic Gen-X losers
e)  I didn't understand the question


Question 2:  Why do the anti-communist posters post?

a)  They wish the FBI will notice them and pay them
b)  They once watched a police drama novel
c)  They once watched "You've Got Mail"
d)  They want to get revenge with Dad for being gay
e)  I didn't understand the question


Question 3:  What sort of posts do the anti-communists make?

a)  Cheap debaters' tricks
b)  Logical fallacies
c)  Religious dogma
d)  Something Dad once said
e)  I didn't understand the question


Question 4:  What organizations do the anti-communists support?

a)  John Birch Society
b)  Ku Klux Klan
c)  American Nazi Party
d)  Any corporation
e)  I still don't understand the questions


Question 5:  What organizations do the anti-communists oppose?

a)  Communist Party
b)  Socialist Party
c)  Labor unions
d)  Abortion clinics
e)  I once took the Pepsi challenge and chose Mr. Pibb


Question 6:  How do the anti-communists compose their posts?

a)  They cut-and-paste from bibleonline.com
b)  They move the mouse and that arrow thingy moves
c)  Dad, what am I supposed to do now?
d)  Well, not really "composed" but Valium helps
e)  Did you say something?


Question 7:  What do the anti-communists look like?

a)  young white male
b)  ink mark on arm where faux tattoo was
c)  braces on teeth
d)  black ski mask and spray paint on fingers
e)  I'm pretending to be listening to a cell phone to ignore you


Question 8:  How did the anti-communists ever get on the Internet?

a)  They use Dad's Compaq when he's not home
b)  They had to take a stupid Internet class
c)  What, you mean this isn't a porn site?
d)  A communist showed them how
e)  Are you still here?


Question 9:  What will the anti-communists espouse tomorrow?

a)  Communism
b)  Liberation theology
c)  Anti-fluoridation
d)  Penis enlargement
e)  Huh?


Question 10:  How will the anti-communists get even for this post?

a)  With a bunch of posts with stupid debaters' tricks
b)  By making a lot of posts to push it off the current list
c)  By making a "what's a stupid communist" quiz
d)  By ignoring it
e)  OK, now I'm ready, what's the first question?


Answers:  1. -e)  2. -e)  3. -e)  4. -e)  5. -e)  6. -e)  7. -e)  8.
-e)  9. -e)  10. -e)