Date: Mon, 01 Oct 2001 03:05:32 +0100
From: "-AT-ndy" <andy-AT-xchange.anarki.net>
Subject: AUT: Mr. Bush's Speech to Congress


Sorry, but I thought this was funny.

------------------------
http://www.konformist.com/911/w-speech.htm

W's speech

Mr. Speaker, Mr. President Pro Temporariness, members of Congress, and
fellow Americans: In the normal course of events, presidents come to
this
chamber to report on the state of the union. Tonight, they have sent me
instead.

We've seen the unfurling of flags, the lighting of candles, the
unfolding
of flags, the giving of blood, the waving of flags, the saying of
prayers,
and the savage beatings administered to people who dress differently and
do
not wave flags.

Tonight, we are a country awakened to danger. Who would have thought
that
callous disregard for the lives lost to American bombs abroad might one
day
lead to calamity? Our grief has turned to anger and anger to resolution
and
resolution to jingoism and jingoism soon will be transmuted into a new
batch of experimental and traditional weapons raining down on the human
beings who inhabit the world's hovels. Whether we bring our enemies to
justice or bring justice to our enemies, just as I say, let me adjust
this
mike.

I thank the Congress for showing its leadership at such an important
time
by granting me the untrammeled right to imprison and destroy our
designated
demons du jour.

All who love America and who are uncommonly tolerant of shallow
manipulation were touched on the evening of the tragedy to see
Republicans
and Democrats joined together on the steps of this Capitol singing ''God

Bless America.''

And you did more than sing. You acted, you signed over $40 billion to
the
military-industrial complex. Money that was nowhere to be seen earlier
when
desperate requests came in for better schools or teacher's salaries or
affordable housing. Speaker Hastert, Minority Leader Gephardt, Majority
Leader Daschle and Senator Lott, I thank you for your abject
subservience,
and for prostrating yourself before the needs of the corporate complex.

America is not alone in this. We will not forget South Korean children
gathering to pray outside our embassy in Seoul, the way we forgot about
them when they vainly huddled under a bridge to avoid being strafed in
1951, or the ones gunned down in Kwangju.

Let me thank all the countries standing by us, except for Canada.

America has no truer friend than Great Britain.

I'm so honored the British prime minister had crossed an ocean to show
his
unity with America in plotting yet another cataclysm of violence against

the poorest nations on earth.

Thank you for coming, friend.

On September the 11th, enemies of freedom committed an act of war
against
our country. Americans have known wars, but for the past 136 years they
have been wars on foreign soil, except for one Sunday in
1941, which would have been on foreign soil, had we not annexed Hawaii
and
turned it into a fortress guarding our overbearing presence in Asia.

Americans have known the casualties of war, but not at the center of a
great city on a peaceful morning. That knowledge, until now, has
belonged
almost exclusively to our adversaries.

Americans have known surprise attacks, but rarely from the receiving
side.

All of this was brought upon us in a single day, and night fell on a
different world, a world where freedom itself is under attack, and I am
not
referring to the repressive laws we are about to enact.

Americans have many questions tonight. They are asking, ''Who wrote my
speech?" They also want to know why it is that when a reporter asks me a

question, I often look like a spaniel who has just heard an unfamiliar
command.

The evidence we have gathered all points to a collection of loosely
affiliated terrorist organizations known as al Qaeda. You may have heard
of
them before. I hadn't. They are the fundamentalists we bankrolled to
kill
Russians, and whom we now accuse of bombing American embassies in
Tanzania
and Kenya and say are responsible for bombing the USS Cole.

Al Qaeda is to terror as the mafia is to crime or I as am to the inane
phrase and malapropism. But its goal is not making money, something we
might respect. Its goal is remaking the world and imposing its radical
beliefs on people everywhere. What dad likes to call New World Order,
only
I don't remember him giving permission to Al Qaeda or anyone else to try

it.

The terrorists' directive commands them to kill Christians and Jews, to
kill all Americans and make no distinctions among military and
civilians,
including women and children. Why they don't pick on Denmark or
Australia
beats the heck out of me.

They are recruited from their own nations and neighborhoods and brought
to
camps in places like Afghanistan where they are trained in the tactics
of
terror. They are sent back to their homes or sent to hide in countries
around the world to plot evil and destruction. Everyone knows this, if
they
are familiar with the historical works of Stallone, or read Marvel
publications.

The leadership of Al Qaeda has great influence in Afghanistan and
supports
the Taliban regime in controlling most of that country. In Afghanistan
we
see al Qaeda's vision for the world. Afghanistan's people have been
brutalized, many are starving and many have fled.

Women are not allowed to attend school. You can be jailed for owning a
television. Religion can be practiced only as their leaders dictate. A
man
can be jailed in Afghanistan if his beard is not long enough. Knowing
this,
you ask, why did we give the Taliban $43 million a couple of months ago.

Simple. We thought at the time they could guarantee Unocal's pipeline,
so
we didn't sweat the small stuff.

The United States respects the people of Afghanistan -- as we do all of
our
bombees and others we threaten with annihilation. After all, we are
currently its largest source of er, humanitarian aid -- but we condemn
the
Taliban regime who are now in our way.

Tonight the United States of America makes the following demands on the
Taliban.

Deliver to United States authorities whomever we tell you to. And don't
keep
nagging us for evidence. We don't have to show you any stinking
evidence.

Release all foreign nationals, including American citizens you have
unjustly imprisoned. Protect foreign journalists, diplomats and aid
workers
in your country and stop holding up their mail from Langley. Close
immediately and permanently every terrorist training camp in
Afghanistan.
And hand over every terrorist and every person and their support
structure
to appropriate authorities.

Give the United States full access to terrorist training camps. We need
them. The Liblabs here have shut down ours at The School for the
Americas.

Inasmuch as you have no defense against our bombs, these demands are not

open to negotiation or discussion.

Once you accede to our demands, we will resume financing your
fundamentalism, as we do Saudi Arabia's.

I also want to speak tonight directly to Muslims throughout the world.
We
respect your faith. But this is a free country, and that is why we allow

our legislators and TV celebrities to refer to you as diaper-heads. Your

faith is practiced freely by many millions of Americans and by millions
more in countries that America counts as friends. Its teachings are good

and peaceful, and those who commit evil in the name of Allah blaspheme
the
name of Allah. But Operation Infinite Mendacity is going to change all
that.

The enemy of America is not our many Muslim friends. It is not our many
Arab friends. It is not our friends. It is our enemy. When we ask you to

disembark a plane so that regular Americans can travel safely, do not
take
it personally. Get that chip off your shoulders.

Our war on terror begins with Al Qaeda, but it does not end there.

It will not end until all evil has been found, all evildoers stopped and

defeated, including the ones they call the Joker and the Penguin.

Americans are asking ''Why do they hate us?''

They hate what they see right here in this chamber: a democratically
elected government. (LAUGHTER)

Their leaders are self-appointed. They hate our freedoms: our freedom of

religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote (LAUGHTER) and
assemble and disagree with each other.

They want to overthrow existing governments in many Muslim countries
including the Saudi Arabian democracy.

We're not deceived by their pretenses to piety.

We have seen their kind before. They are the heirs of all the murderous
ideologies of the 20th century. Indeed, who but Muslims started the two
world wars that took 70 million lives? Who is responsible for Korea and
Vietnam?

Americans are asking, ''How can America and its allies possibly defeat a

man who is hiding in a cave in the poorest country on earth?"

We will direct every resource at our command -- every means of
diplomacy,
every tool of intelligence (by the way, does anyone here know Farsi?),
every instrument of law enforcement, every financial influence, and
every
necessary weapon of war.

Now, this war will not be like the war against Iraq a decade ago, when
Americans laughed along with Stormin' Norman at the sight of terrified
Iraqis scurrying to escape our surgical bombs. We may not go back to the

good old days of the Highway of Death, but I guarantee there will again
be
stragglers to strafe. And soon Americans will once more wake up to find
themselves bombarding a country they cannot locate on a map.

It will not look like the air war above Kosovo two years ago, where not
a
single American was lost in combat. Think of that. We bombed a country
for
months, wreaked havoc on its infrastructure, killed and maimed thousands
of
its citizens, and we didn't lose a single hero. And still some people
hate
us.

Our response involves far more than instant retaliation and isolated air

strikes. Americans should not expect one battle, but a lengthy campaign
unlike any other we have ever seen. It may include dramatic strikes
visible
on TV and covert operations, the details of which shall not be revealed
until all of us are long dead.

We will starve terrorists of funding, turn them one against another,
drive
them from place to place until there is no refuge or no rest. As Mark
said:


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our

shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of
their
patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks
of
their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes

with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their
unoffending
widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with
little
children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags

and hunger and thirst . . .

And we will pursue nations that provide aid or safe haven to terrorism
or,
this time, draft dodgers. Every nation in every region now has a
decision
to make: Either serve our machine or be considered terrorists.

Today, dozens of federal departments and agencies, as well as state and
local governments, have responsibilities affecting homeland security.

These efforts must be coordinated at the highest level. So tonight, I
announce the creation of a Cabinet-level position reporting directly to
me,
I call it the General Emergency Section Tracking Anti-American Populist
Opposition.

These measures are essential.

Many will be involved in this effort, from FBI agents, now free to
employ
sleazier sleazebags as intelligence operatives, to the teams that are
once
again authorized to assassinate the leaders of other nations. All
deserve
our thanks, and all have our prayers.

I ask your continued participation and confidence in the American
economy
as it plunges toward the abyss.

America is successful because of the hard work and creativity and
enterprise of people who frequently cannot afford a roof over their
heads.
These were the true strengths of our economy before September
11. and they are our strengths today.

Tonight I thank my fellow Americans for what you have already done and
for
what you are about to do without even being aware that you are doing it.

And ladies and gentlemen of the Congress, I thank you, their
representatives, for what you have already done to help untangle us from

the restrictions of the Bill of Rights and granting me absolute power.

We will come together to promote stability and keep our airlines flying
with direct assistance during this emergency. Ordinary people will have
to
fend for themselves.

We will come together to take active steps that strengthen America's
economy and put our people back to work, although first we will have to
finish turning them out into the cold, and that may take time.

In all that lies before us, may God grant us wisdom and may he watch
uniquely over the United States of America, because we are the only
country
that truly honors the separation of church and state.

Thank you.



     --- from list aut-op-sy-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu ---