Subject: AUT: [Fwd: Fw: What the Late Night Comedians are Saying]
From: chris wright <cwright.21stcentury-AT-rcn.com>
Date: 05 Apr 2003 15:18:11 -0600


I hate late night TV talkshow hosts, but these are pretty funny.

Cheers,
Chris


>
> >President Bush said that Iraq looked like a rerun of a bad movie.'
Well
>
> sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going
>
> > to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't
I?" --
>
> > Jay Leno
>
> >
>
> > "President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN
to
>
> > wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval
of
the
>
> > American voters to become president, either." -- David Letterman
>
> >
>
> > "In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of
Saddam
>
> > Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine,
supplies,
>
> > housing, education - anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He
>
> > finally comes up with a domestic agenda - and it's for Iraq. Maybe
we
>
> > could bring that here if it works out." -- Jay Leno
>
> >
>
> > "President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and
that
>
> > democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they
can
have
>
> > a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting.
Iraq?
>
> > We can't even get this in Florida." -- Jay Leno
>
> >
>
> > "Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget
creates
a
>
> > 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with
'Hey,
>
> > look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'" -- Craig Kilborn
>
> >
>
> > "We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of
mass
>
> > destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading
Iraq.
>
> > There's just one problem -- it's in North Korea." -- Jon Stewart
>
> >
>
> > "War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom.
They
>
> > were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized
that
>
> > spells 'OIL.'" -- Jay Leno
>
> >
>
> > "CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into
three
>
> > parts ... regular, premium and unleaded." -- Jay Leno
>
> >
>
> > "Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the
weekend.
>
> > See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in
history.
>
> > First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then he
declares
>
> > war." -- Jay Leno
>
> >
>
> > For more, go to:
>
> >
>
> > http://www.buzzflash.com/analysis/03/04/01_haha.html
>



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