Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 21:16:52 -0500 (EST)
From: Marsha Faizi <mfaizi-AT-rbnet.com>
Subject: Lice


Jean Dragon wrote:

	Kick you own ass


Dear Associate Professor,

I appreciate your concern. 

Just for fun, I will relate a charming story of how I accomodated a young
professor in my long ago past. 

He was a truly horrid creature. Cute in a way but so mean that I reckon he
ate his students for breakfast.

I was manager and buyer for a bookstore in the city, not far from the
university where this little troll was employed. He intimidated my clerks so
badly, boys and girls alike, that they could bear to take his orders. He
often had the girls in tears. Hence, it was my duty to attend him. I often
wondered if he did this on purpose because he would rather deal with me.
Some men prefer bitches.  

He never made me cry. If he attempted to be rude, I would say, "You know
that I will not tolerate your insults. Save it for your students." 

For some reason, he ordered large quantities of books from us, ten or
fifteen at a time. It was a tedious matter to have to look up all the titles
and write up all the orders. Ingram did not carry the titles he wanted. It
would take about an hour to get his orders straight and he was not
appreciative of any effort on his behalf. He seemed to enjoy a position in
which he clearly had a subordinate at his mercy. He enjoyed my sharp tongue,
no doubt, but he knew that he was the customer and that I was bound to serve
him.

One day, he came to pick up a large number of books that he had ordered. For
customers who bought such a large quantity of books, I gave our large
shopping bags for them to carry them. I reached for a bag and the only one
that was left was a white one with the picture of a large pink pussy cat
with large pink ribbons about its neck and head. Adorable.

I said, "Oh, Peter, look. This will suit you." and I began piling his books
into the bag. He stared at me uncertainly for a minute but, then, he saw
that I was quite serious and that there was nothing that he could do about
it. I was going to force him to take the bag.

I finished wrapping his books and I handed him the bag. He blushed and said,
"Thank you."

As he left the store, I summoned my clerks to come to the window. I said,
"Look at Peter and his pink pussy bag. Think I did a good job with him?"

We had a good laugh at his expense. It did look truly funny to watch the
professor who ate his students for breakfast and reduced my clerks to tears
make his way down the street carrying his pink pussy bag. 

Indeed, it did suit him.

Faizi