Date: Fri, 01 Sep 1995 01:30:46 -0500 (CDT)
From: cnd7750-AT-UTARLG.UTA.EDU
Subject: Susan Says Here It Is, There It Isn't


part 1: Affectivity

Paul, walking into the employee breakroom of the Barrington hotel where
he and I work: "So Susan, what did you do last night?"
Me: "Nothing really. Watched TV for a while and then read a little of
_The 120 Days of Sodom_. What did you do?"
Paul: "Same thing. Watched a little TV and then talked on the phone
with Lorie. What did you watch?"
Me: "An episode of 'Charlie's Angels' about a crazy guy trying to
blow up a cruise ship the angels were on."
Paul: "Did yo like shit like 'Charlies Angels' and 'CHIPs' when you
were a kid? I sure did. I still think it's pretty cool stuff."
Me: "Don't start with that 'cool' crap. I'm tired of that fucking
word. But now, i didn't like 'CHIPs', but i did kind of like
'Wonder Woman.' Let's talkd about Sade instead of 70s retro shit.
I'd much rather go over the intracacies..."
Tim, our boss, the hotel manager, who evidently has been listening
to our conversation without our knowing it: "Why don't you two rap
up your conversation on the history of entertainment and head back
to your offices? It doesn't look too good for our respective
managers of maintenance and customer service to be going over the 
details of their childhood when we're suppose to be preparing for
a conference, does it?"
Me: "It's just like you to sneak up on people as soon as that sit
down. Would it be okay if we took a few minutes if i let you 
Sodomize me later this afternoon?"
Tim, with a curious expression: "Sodomize you?"
Me: "You know, do me up the butt, fuck me up the ass, take that prick
of yours and..."
Tim: "Cut the bullshit Susan. I'm happily married to a woman that's
great in bed. Besides, you're just using that sex talk to try to
milk a few extra minutes when you know we have tons of work to do.
That's fine, stay here and talk about the good old days, but neither
one of you had better leave this hotel before it's 100% ready for
that conference tomorrow. Since i ahve both of you here, do you guys
want to order in some Chinese for lunch?"
Paul: "Yeah, I'll take some kung pao chicken."
Tim: "How about you miss Gamora?"
Me: "Now you're ready to talk sodomy huh? But why the cold feet,
I thought men liked anal action better because it's tighter?"
Tim: "That's a good point, but i think i will just stick with
pussy."
Me: "You've never done your wife up the ass?"
Tim: "No."
Me: "Ever tried or even wanted to?"
Tim: "Hell no. I'm not a butt pirate. I'll leave that to the faggots."
Me: "How aobut you Paul? Ever done or wanted to do Lorie up the
ass?"
Paul: "No not yet. We've talked about but that's it. She's afraid
it will hurt too much. Every time I bring it up she asks me if I
would mind being fucked up the ass." 
Me: "Well turnabout is fair play. Think you might take a little
dooky stick in exchange for some tight anal action?"
Paul: "No, no, no..."
Me: "Just like men. You'll do her and won't take it yourself. Sounds
like all the guys I've been with."
Tim: "What do you want from us Susan? Do you want to turn us into
homos? You're the one all hot for the butt fuck talk in the first place."
Me: "I'm not trying to turn either one of you into homos. I'm just
trying to loosen you two up--literally. It hurts the first couple
of times, but after you're broken in it's much better than straight
coitus. But i wouldn't be surprised if you guys were keeping it a
guy thing. Maybe a little pederasty?"
Tim: "Well I'm not going to find out... Pederasty? What's that?"
Me: "Adult men sodomizing pre-pubescent boys. It was a common and
open practice in ancient Greece and Rome. It wasn't very open
during the Christian era, but I'm sure you know it was common
nonetheless, especially among so-called celibate fruit cakes. In
such cases it was done for the love of God you know."
Tim: "Priests and monks were certainly a fucked up bunch, but that's
got nothign to do with it."
Me: "Pederasty as a practice accompanying religious rites during
the age of Christendom had everything to do with God, the Christian
brotherhood. Now it's just a brotherhood kind of thing, God having
been absentified from the act. But straight ass fucking--for the
joy, not the pleasure mind you, but the affective joy--homosexual
or heterosexual, has always been recoginized by theologians as
not only a disavowal of God's rule but an attack on faith itself.
That's why the church not so unofficaily incorporated (embodied)
into ritual practice: they had to get some good out of that which
was fucking them over. In fact, etymology reveals that the phrase
"fucked over" originated with those who had first hand experience
with the affects of sodomistic rape--on both sides of the stick.
But if you want to know more about the Christain/sodomy connection,
check out the writings of that number one homoerotic priest Thomas
Aquinas."
Tim: "Get off it Susan. A guy deciding to do a boy up the ass has
nothing to do with religion. Why did i even get into this?
Me: "How about you Paul? Do you know anything about the history
of anal affectivity? Want to find out?"
Paul: "I don't know and i don't  want to find out either."
Tim: "What do you wnat for lunch Susan? We've got to get back
to work."
Me: "I guess I'll hav some sweet and sour pork, with steamed rice."
Paul, getting up and leaving the break room: "Steamed rice for
me too."
Me: "Paul you puss. Are you going to leave when we're stuck in the
middle of this?"



chris

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