Date: Tue, 09 Dec 1997 00:43:35 -0800
From: Yoda Fan <yodafan-AT-slip.net>
Subject: [Fwd: Love and Marriage, a series of short silly jokes]


This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
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> >Love and Marriage
> >===================> >If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty,
> >she'd be Kitty Twitty.
> >
> >If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono,
> >she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
> >
> >If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali,
> >she'd be Dolly Dali.
> >
> >If Bo Derek married Don Ho,
> >she'd be Bo Ho.
> >
> >If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra,
> >she'd be Oprah Chopra.
> >
> >If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg,
> >(hey! it's the '90's!), he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
> >
> >If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton,
> >then divorced him to marry Elton John,
> >she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
> >
> >If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness,
> >then divorced him to marry Herman Munster,
> >she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
> >
> >If Bea Arthur married Sting,
> >she'd be Bea Sting.
> >
> >If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh,
> >he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
> >
> >How about a baseball marriage?
> >If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
> >
> >If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali,
> >then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
> >
> >If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten,
> >then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
> >
> >If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale,
> >and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant,
> >they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.
> >
> >If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor),
> >King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener
> >(mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
> >
> >If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood,
> >divorced her and married Gregory Peck,
> >divorced him and married Ben Hur,
> >he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
> >
> >If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers,
> >then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky,
> >then divorced and married Martin Short,
> >then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy,
> >we could all nod understandingly when we heard,
> >"Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."

And

If Morgen Freeman married Henry Fox
He'd be Freeman Fox!
Hey, you said it's the 90's!!!!!

I'm sorry I should be more polite...


--------------B6EA87E3A943943EACC00C6D

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Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 13:37:34 -0500
From: Kaveh_Nikpour-AT-KCSM.pbs.org (Kaveh Nikpour)
Subject: Love and Marriage, a series of short silly jokes
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>Love and Marriage
>===================>If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty,
>she'd be Kitty Twitty.
>
>If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono,
>she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
>
>If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali,
>she'd be Dolly Dali.
>
>If Bo Derek married Don Ho,
>she'd be Bo Ho.
>
>If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra,
>she'd be Oprah Chopra.
>
>If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg,
>(hey! it's the '90's!), he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
>
>If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton,
>then divorced him to marry Elton John,
>she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
>
>If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness,
>then divorced him to marry Herman Munster,
>she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
>
>If Bea Arthur married Sting,
>she'd be Bea Sting.
>
>If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh,
>he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
>
>How about a baseball marriage?
>If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
>
>If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali,
>then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
>
>If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten,
>then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
>
>If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale,
>and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant,
>they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.
>
>If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor),
>King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener
>(mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
>
>If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood,
>divorced her and married Gregory Peck,
>divorced him and married Ben Hur,
>he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
>
>If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers,
>then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky,
>then divorced and married Martin Short,
>then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy,
>we could all nod understandingly when we heard,
>"Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."








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