From: cbcox-AT-rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Carrol Cox)
Subject: Re: M-FEM: Queer Kids and the.."Ms"???
Date: Sun, 3 Aug 1997 18:35:43 -0500 (CDT)


The persons who should decide this are the bulk of the women on the
list, neither boddhi nor Tracy. If most list members are indif-
ferent, then boddhi ought to honor Tracy's preference. But on the
whole titles never have been and still are not a matter for the
individual only. A Count in France in say 1430 would have found
himself in trouble with *other* Counts had he allowed his serfs
to refer to him as "Jacques." "Ms" was coined because having
the distinction between married and unmarried part of a woman's
name was becoming an offense to *all* (or at least very many) women,
and so in using it for a particular woman boddhi is in the first
instance bowing to a political position that has been achieved
through political struggle, and Tracy's preferences are in that
case irrelevant.

	This maillist is loosely structured, but there could
exist Marxist groups where the use of the title "Comrade" would be
mandatory, as "Citizen" was in France in the 1790s. If no list
members speak up on the matter, then boddhi ought to honor
Tracy's personal preference, but....

Carrol

Tracy writes:
> 
> On Sun, 3 Aug 1997, boddhisatva wrote:
> 
> > contrary.  I was countering what is implicit in Ms. (I'm sorry Tracy I
> > only use "Miss" for children)
> 
> I find it almost amusing that you cannot bring yourself to use a title I
> ardently prefer. This is incredibly arrogant and really quite
> disrespectful. I would never intentionally impose my values on someone
> else in this particular way.  The most amazing aspect of it is that you
> are so well-meaning. As it happens, I dislike "Ms." and -- while I use it
> for others, who seem to prefer it -- I expect friends and acquaintances to
> respect my wishes. (Especially since I'm more than willing to respect
> *theirs.*) 
> 
> Please feel free to call me Tracy but please refrain from insulting me
> with "Ms." -- Thank you. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>