Date: Mon, 4 Aug 1997 19:06:33 -0500
From: Yoshie Furuhashi <Furuhashi.1-AT-osu.edu>
Subject: Bisexuality, Sexual Exploration, Etc. (was Re: M-FEM: Who Buys


Tracy wrote:
>I must say I've met a few lesbian hookers (they see males) who were
>in the closet about the bisexual nature of their sexual behavior. As one
>gal told me, "There is such a stigma attached to sleeping with men, I
>can't risk letting anyone in the gay community know what I do for a
>living." She especially did not want her girlfriend to know she was having
>orgasms with men.
>
>I'd like to add that one of the GREAT things about hooking is that you get
>to have sex with people you wouldn't normally do it with. So, you
>sometimes discover that you're more bisexual than you thought you were. Or
>you find out that you are more orgasmic than you were led to believe....
>Stuff like that. (Lovers and spouses can find this very threatening.)

I agree that community pressures (in this case lesbian community pressures)
can put limits to individuals' desire to experiment with and explore a
wider spectrum of sexual practices. I also think that sexual discoveries of
the kind you describe above can occur through prostitution or other kinds
of sex work.

But don't you think that it is desirable to encourage such experimentation
and exploration *in society at large* as well?

Also, I think we need to recognize that there is a reason why lesbians may
be weary of bisexuals or other deviations from lesbian community norms.
Lesbians (and gay men, too) have historically had to struggle to have their
sexual orientations legally, socially, and politically recognized by
society. The power of heterosexual orthodoxy has been such that often
parents and other people and institutions have tried to change lesbians'
and gay men's sexual identities and practices. (In the past, such coercion
included committing lesbians and gay men to psychiatric hospitals. Even
now, the religious right have not relinquished their attempts to normalize
"sexual deviants." Many parents also put a lot of pressures on their queer
kids to re-adopt hetero norms.)

Considering such existing social pressures, it is understandable--if
unfortunate--that some lesbians and gay men are reluctant to recognize and
sanction fluidity in sexual practices. I think that what makes them
disapprove of such fluidity is less a particular fact that some who thought
they are lesbians sometimes turn out to be bisexuals or at least enjoy
occasional hetero sex encounters than the fear that the recognition of
changeability in sexuality might give the Right-wingers ammunitions: if
sexuality is so fluid, what would stop social conservatives from trying to
"re-educate" gays and lesbians into straights?

I think that those of us--including myself--who think that it is desirable
to recognize and encourage sexual fluidity (so long as experimentation is
done consensually) must also work hard to combat the social conservatives'
continuing attempts to "re-educate" gays and lesbians into non-entities.

Yoshie