Date: Sat, 13 Sep 1997 10:17:53 -0700
From: Louis Proyect <lnp3-AT-columbia.edu>
Subject: M-I: Bellicose Jews


The notion of bellicose Jews is a tad reductionist. There are at least
three major groupings of Jews I know of:

1) Secular Jews living outside of Israel:
These are the sort of characters encountered on the television show
"Seinfeld" and do not enjoying killing at all. Seinfeld enjoys dating and
telling jokes, while one of his pals--Kramer, I believe--is usually to be
found engaged in one lame-brained scheme or another, such as getting into
the used LP record business. As far as I can remember, none of these
characters or the characters they are based on or characters like these in
general (there are millions of them in NYC) show any interest in fighting
or killing. Nor would they be caught dead in a synagogue. Except maybe on
the high holy days, when it affords them the opportunity to show off their
new Ralph Lauren garments. Very few of them, in fact, enlisted in the
Marines during the Vietnam war, or any other of the services. Myself
included. The only killing I would ever join in would be in the context of
a revolution in the USA. This, sadly, is not immediately on the agenda.

2) Religious Jews:
These are people who look rather like the Amish, but drive Chryslers rather
than horse-and-buggies. They are *very* observant and say prayers before
and after sex, for example. I often utter the phrase "Oh, God!" during sex,
but I am not one of these people. The only time they show interest in
warfare is during the course of a dispute between rival sects. For example,
the Satmar and Lubavitcher Chasidim in Brooklyn have often had fist fights
over rival theological fine points, but they have not used firearms to my
knowledge.

3) Israeli Jews:
These are a mutant breed of Jews who not only look like Boers, but think
like them as well. I have never seen a Sabra who is under 6 ft tall and who
does not look like a trainer at a health club. All of them seem to be
capable of jumping out of airplanes and killing a foe with a well-placed
karate chop to the adam's apple. They tend to have names like Zev
Ben-Shmatah instead of Mark Goldstein. I hardly regard them as Jews at all,
but that's just me. I suspect that their affinity for warfare has a lot to
do with socio-economic factors rather than anything in their gene's The
Portuguese, on the other hand, there's a bellicose race if I ever saw one.

Louis Proyect



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