File spoon-archives/marxism-psych.archive/marxism-psych_1997/marxism-psych.9708, message 8


Date: Tue, 12 Aug 1997 13:53:54 -0400
From: marc christensen <mchrist-AT-cms.cc.wayne.edu>
Subject: Re: M-PSY: The contradiction: Winnicott on love and hate


Chris, Ilan, & other listers-

I'm intrigued by the thought of the love/hate polarity being a kind of
contradiction in the marxist sense, but I think here that Winnicott (&
Klein by association) is a little limited in terms of how he thinks this
through.

Chris' wrote:
>> I assume there is a
>> truth in the old saying that you always hate the one
>> you love - not continuously, but with a high
>> probability, and to be in a loving relationship is also
>> to accept the probability of being hurt.

This position seems quite consistent with Freud's remarks on transference.
If we understand that we are engaged in a kind of transferential dialogue
with those we love, even as we also negotiate the difficult details of
capitalist society side by side with them, then we have a kind of
contradiction in the demands we make of them in any minutiae of the
relationship.  I therefore disagree strongly with Ilan that the above quote
(chris')

>...is a clear example of the unclear approach to the emotional
>system and the common ignorance resulting from backwardness of
>scientific research in the emotional domain.

Fundamentally, I believe that Freud's comments on the transference explain
this relationship very well.  If I am hedging a bit by reading Chris'
comment as a one sentence gloss on transference, his construction is surely
out of an examination of exactly those process which Freud was making pains
to describe and understand.

This begs the question, of course, about the difference between the
transference of the analyst's couch and the transference at work in our
loving relationships outside that situation.  If we are constructed
primarily in our speech to the other -- or at the very least in the
reception of ourselves by the other -- then we have to say that the
psychoanalytic relationship between analyst and analysand is overly
simplistic.  But it is a simplification which is theraputically necessary.

And in the contradistinction between theraputic and typical relationships,
we can clearly see the kinds of pressures the present organization of
society places on us, which we internalize to some degree and place on
those who we care about. When Ilan writes that

>The common mixing of hatred with rage, is very common.
>Many do not discern between two different emotional entities:
>One is the will to end a frustration with all means available
>(accompanied by anger and rage) and the some times accompanying wish to
>hurt the the one who frustrate us so s/he will learn not to do so in the
>future...

we are at the heart of the trouble that the people we care about (whether
romantic partners or other people) are both the ones we need to see and
recognize us, and the ones who often have different ideas and patterns of
actions than us about almost everything.  But to talk about the polar
relationship between love and hate (or rage, if Ilan prefers) without being
clear about the facilitative role of transference in this equation (as I
believe Ilan here ignores) is sheer folly.

The contradiction at the heart of the transference appears to be a kind of
dialectical unity, now, to me, after having thought about it a bit.  The
contradiction between the transferential element of our relationships with
our loved ones and the goal-driven negotiations we make with them seems to
be more socially specific or transient -- a more direct product of the
system of capitalism than an ever-living dialectic of the formation of
consciousness.

And in this, perhaps we can think about the ways in which capitalism helps
to break up even the most fundamental of our affiliations, and indeed our
very consciousness, in a more useful manner.

(by the way, Chris, Winnicott is still to some degree remembered here in
the US, although seemingly only by nonspecialists, such as cultural
critics, and an interminably small minority of clinical practitioners.)

Regards,

marc christensen
center for urban studies
wayne state university
detroit, michigan, usa




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