Date: Sun, 2 Nov 1997 11:37:54 -0500
From: Ostrow/Kaneda <ostrow-AT-is2.nyu.edu>
Subject: darwin awards


>X-Sender: fgl94035-AT-mb.bi.no
>Mime-Version: 1.0
>Date: Sun, 2 Nov 1997 15:54:12 +0200
>To: FLUXLIST-AT-scribble.com
>From: ken.friedman-AT-bi.no (Ken Friedman)
>Subject: FLUXLIST: A fitting real-world response to the roommate event.
>Sender: owner-FLUXLIST-AT-scribble.com
>Precedence: bulk
>Reply-To: FLUXLIST-AT-scribble.com
>X-Url: http://www.fluxus.org/~museum/FLUXLIST/
>
>I sometimes wonder whether Fluxus is necessary any longer.
>
>Now, the Darwin Awards, a fitting real-world response to the roommate event.
>
>Taken from the Internet.
>
>-------------------------------------------
>
>As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon the
>remains of that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has
>done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
>
>Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed when he attached a JATO
>(Jet Assisted Take Off) unit to his Chevy Impala and promptly shot himself
>at 300 mph into the side of a desert cliff.
>
>And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):
>
>John Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington,
>decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge,
>Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among them) they sat in the
>parking lot, and after finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy
>enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.
>
>The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence. The plan was
>for John (100 pounds heavier than Sal ) to hop over, and then assist his
>friend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop on
>the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself
>crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large branch
>which snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree, with one arm
>broken, John looked down and saw a group of bushes below him. Apparently
>figuring the bushes would break his fall, John removed his pocket knife and
>proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. When
>finally free, John crashed below into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves
>scratched his entire body and now being without his shorts, he was the
>unwilling victim of a holly branch penetrating his rectal cavity. To make
>matters worse, his pocket knife proceeded to fall with him and landed three
>inches into his left thigh.
>
>Seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, Sal decided to throw him
>a rope and pull him to safety. However, weighing about 100 pounds less than
>his friend, he decided the best course of action would be to tie the rope
>to the pickup truck. This is when things went from bad to worse. In his
>drunken state, Sal put the truck into the wrong gear, pressed on the gas,
>and crashed through the fence, landing on and killing his friend. Sal was
>thrown from the truck, suffered massive internal injuries and also died at
>the scene.
>
>Police arrived to find a pickup truck with its driver thrown 100 feet from
>the vehicle and upon moving the truck, a half naked man, with numerous
>scratches, a holly stick up his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and a pair of
>shorts dangling from the tree branches 25 feet in the air.
>
>
>And now, the runners-up:
>
> --- AP, Mammoth Lakes, CA: A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a
>lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on
>a foam pad, authorities said. Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead
>at Centinela Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono
>County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had
>hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors
>from the lift towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes
>Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit the
>towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and
>Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been determined that the tower he
>hit was the one with its pad removed.
>
> --- AP, St. Louis, MO: Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly
>in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo
>grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying
>for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics
>removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to
>death.
>
> --- UPI, Spain: To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above
>him on an overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
>
> --- Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA: A man at a party popped a blasting
>cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
>lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of
>Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night
>said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a
>battery, and was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and
>this guy said, "I'll show you how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth
>and bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue and his lips." Stromyer
>was listed in guarded condition with extensive facial injuries at the
>Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing
>something like that," Payne said.
>
> ---UPI, Portland, OR: Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said
>Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky
>to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25,
>lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting
>club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, Ore. A friend tried to shoot
>a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors
>said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel
>would have cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr.
>Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went
>through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his
>skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also
>said had Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have
>killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been
>drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No
>charges have been filed but the Josephine County district attorney's office
>said the initiation stunt is under investigation.
>
>-------------------------------------------
>
>Ken Friedman, Ph.D.
>Associate Professor, Leadership and Strategic Design
>Norwegian School of Management
>Box 4676 Sofienberg
>N-0506 Oslo, Norway
>
>Phone: +47 22.98.51.07
>Fax:     +47 22.98.51.11
>
>email: <ken.friedman-AT-bi.no>
>