Date: Sat, 13 Dec 1997 10:40:33 -0800
From: "Thad Q. Alexander" <rattler-AT-inreach.net>
Subject: PLC: BAH-HUMBUG!


I found this posted by Prof. Mark E. Allen on the Chaucer list that one
of his Chaucer students wrote and sent him between studies. I thought it
was funny.

The Night Before the Chaucer Final

Twas the night before  finals  and all through the room
were the signs of stress and a  feeling of doom

My papers were strewn round the place with despair
in hopes that some semblance of reason was there

I was quite sleepy I had not touched my bed
because visions of essays still danced in my head

The computer screen blurring, I felt I might snap
So I drifted off for a quick little nap

When out of the window there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my computer to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the mini blinds and kicked away the trash

The lights in the street cast an eerie glow
Was it day or night?  How could I know?

When what to my bleary  eyes should appear
but an apparition of Chaucer and a six pack of beer
So poppet-like was he, and pointing his finger
I knew it was he without having to linger

More rapid than roosters, his sources they came
And he ranted and shouted and called them by name

Now Gower!  now, Petrarch! now, Boccacio and Boethius
On Lollius!  on Jerome!  on, Ovid and Theophrastis
To the top of the building!  To the top of the wall!
Explain away!  explain away!  explain away all!

As voices from heaven they answered by queries
I could have kissed each one, but they couldn't tarry,
there were others who needed them they said
others more harried who still weren't in bed

Yet still a thumping I heard on the roof
Chaucer still waited alone and aloof
Eager for answers, I invited him inside
I was so happy, I could have cried

He was dressed in a grey robe, from his head to his knees
and I hugged him and we popped open the lager with glee
A quill hung round his neck with which he would write
while he played with his rosary most of the night

A dainty man was he and fair of face
with an elvish countenance he was quite out of place

We talked of intent ,of narrators, and endings
We chatted about marriage, and Boethian tendings
He taught me to separate fruit from the chaff
And with his great sense of humor we had many a laugh

He was cheerful and jovial, a right jolly old elf
I struggled to understand his English inspite of myself
After  a long night, we both were half dead
but he gave me a sense I had nothing to dread

He said it was time that the old man departed
And I can truthfully say I was most down-hearted
Then to my surprise he let out a thunderdint as he rose
which was quite offensive to my nose!

He sprang out the window and gave me a wave
and wished me good luck on my final the next day
but I heard him exclaim, ere he disappeared from my sight

"Hey, just so you know
The Ellesmere order is right!"

--Laura Spruce

LOL!!!
--
Thad Q. Alexander
(rattler-AT-inreach.net)
OCC Undergraduate
Long Beach, CA.
USA
---
CHAUCER-AT-listserv.uic.edu
Phillitcrit-AT-jefferson.village.Virginia.EDU
Phil-lit-AT-Was found morally unfit for my presence:11\3\97
SHAKSPER-AT-ws.bowiestate.edu
Great Books of Western Civilization
---
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer
is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck
of his whole damn life and one is as good as the other.
    ----Ernest Hemingway




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