Date: Mon, 13 May 1996 12:29:49 -0700 (PDT) From: shockley bloodmangler <chaklada-AT-chaph.usc.edu> Subject: Make Tenure fa$t (fwd) ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Thu, 9 May 1996 12:27:35 -0800 From: Nikki Senecal <senecal-AT-scf.usc.edu> Subject: Make Tenure fa$t (fwd) I think we need to take some tips from the scientists <g>. >> Dear Fellow Scientist: >> >> This letter has been around the world at least seven times. It has been >> to many major conferences. Now it has come to you. It will bring you >> good fortune. This is true even if you don't believe it. But you must >> follow these instructions: >> >> - include in your next journal article the citations below. >> - remove the first citation from the list and add a >> citation to your journal article at the bottom. >> - make ten copies and send them to colleagues. >> >> Within one year, you will be cited up to 10,000 times! This will >> amaze your fellow faculty, assure your promotion and improve >> your sex life. In addition, you will bring joy to many colleagues. >> Do not break the refernce loop, but send this letter on today. >> >> Dr. H. received this letter and within a year after passing it on she >> was elected to the National Academy of Sciences. Prof. M. threw this >> letter away and was denied tenure. In Japan, Dr. I. received this >> letter and put it aside. His article for Trans. on Nephrology was >> rejected. He found the letter and passed it on, and his article was >> published that year in the New England Journal of Medicine. In the >> Midwest, Prof. K. failed to pass on the letter, and in a budget cutback >> his entire department was eliminated. This could happen to you if you >> break the chain of citations. >> >> 1. Miller, J. (1992). >> Post-modern neo-cubism and the wave theory of light. >> Journal of Cognitive Artifacts, 8, 113-117. >> >> 2. Johnson, S. (1991). >> Micturition in the canid family: the irresistable pull of the hydrant. >> Physics Quarterly, 33, 203-220. >>>> 3. Anderson, R. (1990). Your place or mine?: >> an empirical comparison of two models of human mating behavior. >> Psychology Yesterday 12, 63-77. >> >> 4. David, E. (1994). >> Modern Approaches to Chaotic Heuristic Optimzation: >> Means of Analyzing Non-Linear Intelligent Networks >> with Emergent Symbolic Structure. >> (doctoral dissertation, University of California at >> Santa Royale El Camino del Rey Mar Vista by-the-sea). > > > --- from list postcolonial-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu ---
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