File spoon-archives/postcolonial.archive/postcolonial_1996/96-05-28.011, message 271


Date: Mon, 13 May 1996 12:29:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: shockley bloodmangler <chaklada-AT-chaph.usc.edu>
Subject: Make Tenure fa$t (fwd)




---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, 9 May 1996 12:27:35 -0800
From: Nikki Senecal <senecal-AT-scf.usc.edu>
Subject: Make Tenure fa$t (fwd)

I think we need to take some tips from the scientists <g>.

>> Dear Fellow Scientist:
>>
>> This letter has been around the world at least seven times.  It has been
>> to many major conferences.  Now it has come to you.  It will bring you
>> good fortune.  This is true even if you don't believe it.  But you must
>> follow these instructions:
>>
>>  -  include in your next journal article the citations below.
>>  -  remove the first citation from the list and add a
>> citation to your journal article at the bottom.
>>  -  make ten copies and send them to colleagues.
>>
>> Within one year, you will be cited up to 10,000 times!  This will
>> amaze your fellow faculty, assure your promotion and improve
>> your sex life.  In addition, you will bring joy to many colleagues.
>> Do not break the refernce loop, but send this letter on today.
>>
>> Dr. H. received this letter and within a year after passing it on she
>> was elected to the National Academy of Sciences.  Prof. M.  threw this
>> letter away and was denied tenure.  In Japan, Dr.  I. received this
>> letter and put it aside.  His article for Trans. on Nephrology was
>> rejected.  He found the letter and passed it on, and his article was
>> published that year in the New England Journal of Medicine.  In the
>> Midwest, Prof. K. failed to pass on the letter, and in a budget cutback
>> his entire department was eliminated.  This could happen to you if you
>> break the chain of citations.
>>
>> 1. Miller, J. (1992).
>> Post-modern neo-cubism and the wave theory of light.
>> Journal of Cognitive  Artifacts, 8, 113-117.
>>
>> 2. Johnson, S. (1991).
>> Micturition in the canid family: the irresistable pull of the hydrant.
>> Physics Quarterly, 33, 203-220.
>>>> 3. Anderson, R. (1990).  Your place or mine?:
>> an empirical comparison of two models of human mating behavior.
>> Psychology Yesterday 12, 63-77.
>>
>> 4. David, E. (1994).
>> Modern Approaches to Chaotic Heuristic Optimzation:
>> Means of Analyzing Non-Linear Intelligent Networks
>> with Emergent Symbolic Structure.
>> (doctoral dissertation, University of California at
>> Santa Royale El Camino del Rey Mar Vista by-the-sea).
>
>
>






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