File spoon-archives/postcolonial.archive/postcolonial_1999/postcolonial.9912, message 168


Date: Tue, 28 Dec 1999 18:03:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Wolf Factory <wolf_factory-AT-yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Your Excellency "Wolf Factory" and "the English Language" 


Your apology is accepted; just don't do it again.



--- Azfar Hussain <azfar-AT-wsu.edu> wrote:
> 
> Your Excellency "Wolf Factory" and "the English
> Language":
> 
> With due respect and humble submission I beg to
> state that I, Azfar
> Hussain, s/o Ashraf Ali, Village-Bhatkhali,
> P.O.-Atrai, District-Rajshahi,
> Bangladesh, now realize that I have been
> disrepectful toward "the English
> Language."
> 
> Your Excellency, I still recall that one morning, in
> my English class at
> Rangpur Robertson Ganj Primary School, I
> disastrously dropped the article
> "the" before "English language" and that my
> missionary Headmaster--who
> wanted to cleanse the dirt off my "english" with
> Nesfield's
> _Grammar_--corrected me, saying: "You always need
> the definite article
> 'the' before words like 'English language.'" Did I
> learn it then?
> 
> But now I'm learning from you, Your Excellency Woolf
> Factory!
> 
> I'm trying to understand what it means to "pervert
> the English language."
> However, if my "english" (sometimes it becomes
> "benglish") breathes badly
> or if I happen to "pervert" your "the English
> language," would it be
> difficult for those linguistic care-takers like you
> to purify or redeem it?
> O my bad sense of linguistic hygiene! But, Your
> Excellency, I'll keep your
> imperative--"Please stop perverting the English
> language"--in mind.
> 
> Now, Your Excellency, I've a brother back home. Once
> upon a time that very
> ungrammatical-unlovely-unlyrical and
> mumbo-jumbo-muttering brother of mine
> peed on the holy Logos, on "the" English alphabet.
> Baas! He was accused of
> committing the sin of perversion and was also
> severely punished. The
> respected guardians of "the English language" told
> my brother that he
> looked like a Caliban. They also asked him to
> abandon his bad habit of
> peeing and defecating in the open field. I apologize
> on behalf of my
> brother also.
> 
> Your Excellency, you wondered if I "possibly
> have had the human race in mind when you [I] wrote"
> my post. Your concern
> with "the human race" is a "mahan" (Oops! Another
> sin! I'm using "bengali"
> in the midst of English!) or grand thing of which, I
> must confess, I'm
> incapable. Your Excellency, it's true that when I
> was writing my post my
> small imagination and my small "english" simply
> failed to be hospitable to
> "the human race" with the right kinds of linguistic
> dishes.
> 
> O, the English language! Make me "human!"
> 
> I've the honor to remain, Sir/Madam,
> 
> Obediently yours,
> 
> Azfar Hussain
> 
> ____________________THUS SPAKE "WOLF
> FACTORY"_________________________________
> 
> >Mr. Azfar: please stop perverting the English
> >language. I tried to read what you had written but
> >half way through I realised that you couldnt
> possibly
> >have had the human race in mind when you wrote it. 
> I
> >should imagine there are very few extraterrestrials
> >subscribing to this list.
> 
> 
> Azfar Hussain
> Department of English
> Washington State University
> Pullman, WA 99164-5020
> USA
> Phones: 509-335-1331 (office)
>         509-332-3344 (home)
> E-mail: azfar-AT-wsu.edu
> 
> 
> 
> 
>      --- from list
> postcolonial-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu ---
> 


===="All the wolves in the wolf factory paused at noon, 
for a moment of silence."
........from laughing Gravy by John Ashbery.
---------------------------------------------------------
Looking for something good and original to read?
Check out: http://www.mesopotamia.free-online.co.uk
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://messenger.yahoo.com


     --- from list postcolonial-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu ---

   

Driftline Main Page

 

Display software: ArchTracker © Malgosia Askanas, 2000-2005