Date: Tue, 28 Dec 1999 18:03:11 -0800 (PST) From: Wolf Factory <wolf_factory-AT-yahoo.com> Subject: Re: Your Excellency "Wolf Factory" and "the English Language" Your apology is accepted; just don't do it again. --- Azfar Hussain <azfar-AT-wsu.edu> wrote: > > Your Excellency "Wolf Factory" and "the English > Language": > > With due respect and humble submission I beg to > state that I, Azfar > Hussain, s/o Ashraf Ali, Village-Bhatkhali, > P.O.-Atrai, District-Rajshahi, > Bangladesh, now realize that I have been > disrepectful toward "the English > Language." > > Your Excellency, I still recall that one morning, in > my English class at > Rangpur Robertson Ganj Primary School, I > disastrously dropped the article > "the" before "English language" and that my > missionary Headmaster--who > wanted to cleanse the dirt off my "english" with > Nesfield's > _Grammar_--corrected me, saying: "You always need > the definite article > 'the' before words like 'English language.'" Did I > learn it then? > > But now I'm learning from you, Your Excellency Woolf > Factory! > > I'm trying to understand what it means to "pervert > the English language." > However, if my "english" (sometimes it becomes > "benglish") breathes badly > or if I happen to "pervert" your "the English > language," would it be > difficult for those linguistic care-takers like you > to purify or redeem it? > O my bad sense of linguistic hygiene! But, Your > Excellency, I'll keep your > imperative--"Please stop perverting the English > language"--in mind. > > Now, Your Excellency, I've a brother back home. Once > upon a time that very > ungrammatical-unlovely-unlyrical and > mumbo-jumbo-muttering brother of mine > peed on the holy Logos, on "the" English alphabet. > Baas! He was accused of > committing the sin of perversion and was also > severely punished. The > respected guardians of "the English language" told > my brother that he > looked like a Caliban. They also asked him to > abandon his bad habit of > peeing and defecating in the open field. I apologize > on behalf of my > brother also. > > Your Excellency, you wondered if I "possibly > have had the human race in mind when you [I] wrote" > my post. Your concern > with "the human race" is a "mahan" (Oops! Another > sin! I'm using "bengali" > in the midst of English!) or grand thing of which, I > must confess, I'm > incapable. Your Excellency, it's true that when I > was writing my post my > small imagination and my small "english" simply > failed to be hospitable to > "the human race" with the right kinds of linguistic > dishes. > > O, the English language! Make me "human!" > > I've the honor to remain, Sir/Madam, > > Obediently yours, > > Azfar Hussain > > ____________________THUS SPAKE "WOLF > FACTORY"_________________________________ > > >Mr. Azfar: please stop perverting the English > >language. I tried to read what you had written but > >half way through I realised that you couldnt > possibly > >have had the human race in mind when you wrote it. > I > >should imagine there are very few extraterrestrials > >subscribing to this list. > > > Azfar Hussain > Department of English > Washington State University > Pullman, WA 99164-5020 > USA > Phones: 509-335-1331 (office) > 509-332-3344 (home) > E-mail: azfar-AT-wsu.edu > > > > > --- from list > postcolonial-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu --- > ===="All the wolves in the wolf factory paused at noon, for a moment of silence." ........from laughing Gravy by John Ashbery. --------------------------------------------------------- Looking for something good and original to read? Check out: http://www.mesopotamia.free-online.co.uk __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://messenger.yahoo.com --- from list postcolonial-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu ---
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