File spoon-archives/postcolonial.archive/postcolonial_2001/postcolonial.0111, message 186


From: "Eugene Hohman" <hoh131-AT-home.com>
Subject: Re: the worldliness of sacred texts
Date: Sun, 18 Nov 2001 10:09:06 -0800


Seriously that is one of the best I've ever read.  What a friggen hoot!!!
Thanks, I've got some folks I MUST send this to.

I'm laughing my ass off down here.  Great stuff!!
Gene
----- Original Message -----
From: "saeed urrehman" <saeed.urrehman-AT-anu.edu.au>
To: <postcolonial-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu>
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 10:07 AM
Subject: the worldliness of sacred texts


>
>
> Dear Dr. Laura
>
> Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
> learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge
with
> as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
> lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
> states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from
> you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow
> them.
> a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
> pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They
> claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
> b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
> 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?
> c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
> period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 5:19-24). The problem is, how do I
> tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
> d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
> female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of
> mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
> clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
> e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
> clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
> him myself?
> f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
> abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
> don't agree. Can you settle this?
> g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
> defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
> vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
> h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
> around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
> 19:27. How should they die?
> i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
> unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
> j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
> crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
> different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
> and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
> of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 4:10-16) Couldn't
> we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with
> people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
> I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can
> help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
> unchanging.
> Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
>
>
>
>
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>
>



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