Date: Mon, 8 Jul 1996 14:43:33 -0700 (MST)
From: freshdlc-AT-primenet.com (Stu & Diane (aka HDulc & Freshwater))
Subject: Re: A War Story


ROFL!  It must've been a nightmare at the time, but what a great story!

We had a "gig from hell" once at a corporate picnic.  We were about 3/4 of
the way through our Punch & Judy show,and having a great response from the
audience. The show was approaching a favorite climactic moment, when all of
a sudden all the kids in the audience -- in unison -- turned their heads
away from our stage. It was as if some insidious "kid magnet" had got hold
of them.  We began to hear little whispers of "Barney! Barney!"  Yes, it
was the odious creature itself. A person (presumably) in a large, purple
dinosaur suit waddled into our performing tent and parked itself squarely
in front of our puppet stage. It put a little tape player on the ground
next to our stage, and prepared to begin some unknown mayhem. Stu, the
front man for our show, said quietly "Excuse me, we're performing here, and
our show isn't over."  A female voice emerged from the beast and said, "Oh,
you're doing a show here? I'm sorry."  She then proceeded to turn on the
tape player, from which issued the odious "I Love You, You Love Me" song.
The lumbering lizard bounced around, sang, and behaved in a generally
nauseating fashion with no intention of stopping anytime this century.
Needless to say, that was the end of our show.

It warms me now to think of the many forms of dinosauricide Punch
subsequently dreamed up.  Ah, if only he'd dared...




**********

>     It was a dark and stormy night...er, it was a dark and stormy
>cafetorium:  we're performing The Nutcracker for the six billionth time.  The
>scene is the climactic battle between the mice and the toy soldiers.  The
>Nutcracker is prancing about the stage; Clara is (conveniently) paralyzed by
>fear.  The stage floor is littered with mouse carcasses, piles of foil
>confetti, and an absolutely stunning quantity of plastic snow (truly the most
>heinous stuff ever invented by man, next to Cheez Whiz).  We are approaching
>the big moment--the Confetti Cannon!!!--but first, the toy soldiers must fire
>their rifles at the invading rodential horde.  The puppeteer under the stage
>(there are three of us:  two on the bridge, and one underneath working the
>rod puppets) marches his soldiers center stage and sets off the flash pot.
> Big flash, cool smoke-ring, lots of oohs from the audience, etc., etc. The
>battle rages on. I continue to wield my six marionette mice with as much
>aplomb as it is possible to wield six marionette mice with a scant two hands
>(in other words, I'm bouncing the hell out of them and flinging them
>enthusiastically in the direction of the prancing Nutcracker).  Suddenly, I
>notice that the oohs from the audience have not abated since the flash-pot.
> In fact, they have risen in pitch and volume to such a degree that I am
>forced to take heed.
>     What is going on?
>     I glance stage right.  To my utter horror, I notice that the once
>conveniently paralyzed Clara has become--gulp--a very inconvenient raging
>inferno.  Apparently, an innocent piece of plastic snow (curse the vile
>stuff!) has been ignited by a random spark from the flash-pot and has wafted
>its way onto poor Clara's nightie.  Eh voila, Clara flambee.  Panic-stricken,
>I either drop or drape my mice and clamber down the bridge in search of the
>fire extinguisher.  The other puppeteer on the bridge begins shouting at the
>puppeteer under the stage:
>     "Fire!" he shouts above the music, "Fire! Fire!"
>     Of course, the puppeteer under the stage does as he is told:  he fires
>the confetti cannon.
>     The kids in the audience go wild.  (So do the adults, for that matter,
>but for different reasons.)
>     Anyhow, to make a long story a bit shorter, we finally managed to douse
>the fire.  Unfortunately, as our main character was now little more than a
>piece of charcoal, we were unable to finish the show.  As we departed,
>however, we were cheered somewhat by one youngster telling us that it was the
>coolest show he had ever seen, especially the fire part.
>
>Anybody else got a tale from the road?  I would love to hear it, as I always
>get a kick out of other puppeteers' mishaps.  (Makes me feel less alone.)
>
>Truly yours,
>Anne
>
>
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