Date: Fri, 21 Feb 1997 14:46:26 -0800 (PST)
From: Lakshmi Gopinathan Nair <lnair-AT-uclink2.berkeley.edu>
Subject: Re: i want to curl up and deny 


Radhika,

How did you know?

How do invisible
"others"
speak
the mind
I vainly
called
mine?

talking to a computer
is sort of like
talking
to God.

whose face
we can only imagine
but never see.

only the vague
shape/outline
of our own 
reflected face
in the screen
covered with
words we
think we
own.

Connecting
and disconnecting
with our
other/selves
which is 
not-self.

expanding?
or erasing?

embracing 
or denying?

I want to deny too.
I want to lose myself
in soap operas
and cigarettes...
into the worn
and familiar
blanket of 
brainwashed
passivity

instead of sitting
here
and writing
something
that may 
turn around
and bite me.

Because that unknown
face
that unseen
eye of judgment
terrifies me

But I love it
all the same.