Date: Thu, 24 Oct 2002 14:23:17 -0400
From: owner-sa-cyborgs-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu (by way of radhika gajjala <radhika-AT-cyberdiva.org>)
Subject: 


From: "annapurna" <annapurna-AT-cyberdiva.org>
To: <sa-cyborgs-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu>
References: <5.1.1.6.0.20021022173901.00b750f0-AT-pop.cyberdiva.org>
Subject: Re:
Date: Thu, 24 Oct 2002 21:49:07 +0530

 > yes
 >
 > it is the 23rd tomorrow
 >
 >          (for you it already is today....)
 >
 > another year has passed
 >
 > and I am
 >
 > still
 >
 > in emotional limbo - will not accept ...

i have him gurgling in my lap
smiling at me at my breast with his eyes
my third child
born of the need to reaffirm life

while death reigned supreme

another year has passed
and i am still in emotional limbo
if he is here in my hands
his little hands clutching at me
his only source of sustenance

is this acceptance.............


 > if i saw him last in cyberspace - last heard his voice through the
machine...
 >
 > is this where I will find him?
 >
 > haunting
 >
 > always haunting me
 >
 >                          as i haunt him...
 >
 > through your words - through my own reflection - my greying hair and aging
 > face...
 >
 > as his old friends' (all gone) children see him in my face with startled
 > recognition
 >
 >                                          this will not cease ...
 >
 > as I am him as my fingers threaten to ache....
 >
 > as I was him
 >
 > the living must live with memories of not having fulfilled
 >
 > the dreams of those that have passed
 >
 >                                          this is the curse we live
 >                                                          indeed the curse
 > he too lived...?
 >
 >          as from distances the news reached him one day....
 >
 >                  this is my trishanku swargam
 >
 > I will find him in the moment between dawn and sunrise
 > between sunset and dusk.
 >
 >                                  in cyberspace
 >
 > he has been cremated
 >
 > by me
 >
 > his ashes are strewn in my words
 >
 >                          dust unto dust
 >                                  bytes unto vapor...
 >
 >                                                          this is my
meditation
 >                                                          this is my
penance....
 >
 >
 > i must mark it in this non-space.
 >
 > Radhika Gajjala
 >
 > _______________________
 > http://www.cyberdiva.org
 >
 >
 >