Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 13:55:55 -0500
Subject: Re: 


but this stereotypical idea of  menwatchingsportsanddrinkingbeer

that

isnotwhatigrewupwith

and that is perhaps the problem with this separation of men and women in some

of these spaces

the assumption of only one way of
beingmanorwoman

so let me tell you a part of the story about the men i knew.....


the men i knew shared poetry written in mother-tongues
laughed at the need to translate continuously into Other tongues



spoke of world affairs and let the young woman offering them tea
interrupt them rudely
with her sarcasm
and pert remarks

they let her hang around
as in their greying days they discussed philosophies
from their homelands
and compared different travel tales

the men i knew sometimes watched cricket like old british men
but the metaphors they used
belonged to the riverbeds of the godavari
krishna
and kaveri


the men i knew grumbled about nagging wives
yes

but they bowed in respect when the women walked in
and served the spicy pakodas

the men i knew were
men
were not afraid of the strength of the women around them.


                                         but their sons did not learn their 
secrets

                                                 as they moved into worlds 
sanctioning their ignorances

                         their sons rewrote what they thought were traditions
and knowledges

                         and used them as weapons

in ignorance



At 01:31 PM 12/11/2002 -0500, you wrote:

>From: Kurvanas-AT-aol.com
>Received: from Kurvanas-AT-aol.com
>         by imo-m06.mx.aol.com (mail_out_v34.13.) id i.11b.1b1b75c9 (17228);
>         Wed, 11 Dec 2002 12:42:54 -0500 (EST)
>Message-ID: <11b.1b1b75c9.2b28d31e-AT-aol.com>
>Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 12:42:54 EST
>Subject: Re: women were conversing
>To: sa-cyborgs-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu
>CC: Kurvanas-AT-aol.com
>MIME-Version: 1.0
>Content-Type: multipart/alternative; 
>boundary="part1_11b.1b1b75c9.2b28d31e_boundary"
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>
>
>-
>
>In a message dated 12/10/2002 5:17:01 PM Eastern Standard Time,
>owner-sa-cyborgs-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu writes:
>
>
> > conversations in a family of women:
> >
> > why do you listen to her
> > she'll tell you its ok to leave your babies
> > and go out to 'fulfil' yourself
> > im old i need help too
> > i cant do for you what her mother did for her
> > dont make me a failure
> > again
> >
>
>Women were conversing
>in the background
>as usual, interrupting the game
>with their continuously pathetic
>whine whine buzz buzz
>
>after a while you can't listen to it
>any more, it cuts through sanity
>
>but you can't cut it off either
>because that'll stir the whole hornet's nest
>so you sit and grind your teeth
>on the very edge of your soul
>waiting for it all to end
>or at least a commercial break
>so you can grab another beer
>
>cause when you drift through the kitchen
>they'll all shut up
>
>at least for a few seconds
>but you know it's false security
>which ends as soon as you leave
>and they'll start whispering their grief
>when the game fades back in
>
>you can only hope like hell
>it don't go into overtime tonight
>
>
>[c 2002 thomas fortenberry]
>
>-
>
>

Radhika Gajjala

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