Date: Fri, 09 May 2003 12:04:27 -0400
Subject: 


they say that inbetween waking and sleep
                                                         [[i donned her 
earrings
at dawn

the dreams you remember
                                                                 [[the only 
real thing of hers that she ever touched
my grandmother
they come true

                         i remember the dream

it was a dream of a dream, i realized when i finally awoke

but how can it come true?                                               [[i 
have her forehead they used to say

                                 he is no longer anywhere on earth

in the dream he read from letters
in the dream that the dream dreamt, he was telling me where to find those 
letters

and in the dream that the dream dreamt i knew what i was looking for that 
he gave me the answers to

what was he helping me decode my awake self now wonders because i really 
was not look for any scripts - certainly not asking him i know...
                                                                                 [the 
only real thing of hers i have
in the dream that the dream happened in,

[there was such clarity in that dream that i woke from  the dream into 
before i woke up and wondered why i dreamt that dream and what the secret 
he was revealing to me was....to a question i had not posed in awakening - 
or did i? do i remember when i was awake long ago - years ago what 
questions i asked him - is he returning to tell me where i can find the 
scripts i was then asking for?]

i found the answers in the letters he had hidden away

do you know if there are any letters he has hidden away?

                                                         [i did not have 
the courage to look throught the dusty files that he had not hidden away 
when i came that last time]

  as i spoke to you

on the telephone that day

                         you told me she told you the story
                                 they must have told me the story in 
different ways when i was small

                                 but her voice emerges in different ways 
revealing secrets

articulating

                         woven

in ways i have not heard before

is it because she has not told them before or
because
in my listening to his voice(s) i did not hear her speak

                                         what stories dont you know about me
                                         why have i not bothered to tell them

have you ever asked me why you dont always hear what i say
only sometimes when i say it over again you hear me this time - aha - you 
say....


in the dream that i dreamt of - was he revealing to me where my 
grand-mother's inheritance lay?

what script was he decoding for me and why?




Radhika Gajjala

_______________________
http://www.cyberdiva.org